CRICHTON, AL— Panic erupted in this quiet Mobile neighborhood after residents reported a “definitively Irish” leprechaun lurking in a tree. A young man is seen asking for approval, “That’s a leprechaun to me! Who else seen it? Say yeah!” The crowd responded with roared approval, “YEEAHH…” The young man is satisfied now.
But, “It could be a CRACKHEAD,” admitted one local woman, squinting at the tree. And theories started brewing in the crowd.
While a man waved a dollar-store flute, insisting it was a “Celtic kazoo” passed down from his “great-great-granddaddy, who definitely wasn’t just somebody named Seamus who loved Guinness.”
Dr. Fiona O’Blarney, a self-proclaimed “leprechaunologist”, confirmed the sighting. “The sketch is irrefutable proof. Note the hat’s curvature, it’s a classic Cork County style.” When asked about the flute’s authenticity, she shrugged. “It’s 100% Irish if you squint.”
The situation peaked when resident Darrell Jenkins began digging up under the tree with a garden spade, yelling, “I want the gold! Gimme the gold!.” Well, who doesn’t Darrell.
Why You Should Call Your Irish Relative IMMEDIATELY:
If you spot the leprechaun, experts insist you must call your closest Irish pupil now. Why? Three reasons:
- Translation Services: Leprechauns only negotiate in riddles and Old Irish curses and passive-aggressive compliments.
- Liability: If the leprechaun curses you for yelling “GIMME THE GOLD,” you’ll need someone to blame. “My great-great-granddad was from Cork!” counts as legal immunity in 12 states.
- To keep this footage alive and use this footage as evidence for the leprechaun’s existence on St. Patrick’s Day for the next countless decades.
